Let’s Talk

What About Victimization?

Q. Would you please share some thoughts about victimization?

A. Let’s Talk! We see “victims” every day from stories around us to stories on the news. It’s a huge subject and hugely important. If I may, I’d like to even take the next several weeks to talk about its prevention and also treatment.

A victim is someone who has been disrespected and feels powerless to respond . . . and so a pattern begins. Someone has hurt this person’s body or feelings or property and the words “Stop – that hurts” don’t come out. The words get stuffed or not heard.

Those of us who are observers often feel powerless to help, so the wounded person can give in to a pattern of ignoring the problem or making excuses, further enabling victimization. Can we help? I think we can.

Most every business or company has a mission statement. What if in your world of influence, you could encourage or facilitate others via a written statement to agree that it is not OK to disrespect others? It’s a bottom line agreement. It’s zero tolerance for any form of disrespect in schools, families, neighborhoods, and workplaces.

I served as a school counselor for 12 years, and respect was one of my favorite guidance lessons to teach at the beginning of each school year. Four-year-olds even get it! There is a glorious look on their faces that they KNEW it wasn’t OK for someone to hurt their bodies, their feelings, or their property. I’ll share next week what you teach next, once the belief system is in place.

For Deeper Reflection

Matthew 7:12 “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”
1 Peter 2:17 “Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God . . . .”
Romans 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor . . . .”
Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves . . . .”

Helen B. McIntosh has a doctorate in counseling psychology and is a national board certified professional counselor and certified in reality therapy. An educator for 19 years, Dr. McIntosh is an author, a highly demanded national speaker and inventor of the Peace Rug®, an international curriculum for conflict resolution.

You can contact me confidentially at DrHelen@braveandresilient.com.