Let’s Talk

Feel Angry?

Q. What are feelings of anger about?

A. Let’s Talk! Anger is everywhere! Just drive anywhere for five minutes and you’ll see all levels of road rage. Go to the grocery store and you will see families out of control. You’ve seen anger many places in your day, haven’t you? Anger even seems to be on the increase. A working definition of anger is: Anger is the result of things not going the way we had hoped. It’s a loss of hope and feeling that things are just not right.

Our world today is so full of loss of control, things not going the way they “should,” and despair that our new normal will ever feel really normal. At times, so much feels different!

Sounds like I’m a glass-half-empty melancholic, doesn’t it? But, I’m a sanguine! I too have been reflecting on the anger I see each day large and small. I see both friends’ and strangers’ anger because “things are just not like they are supposed to be.”

Is this why we are drawn to entertainment and countless diversions? Is this why we like connecting in texts and social media? Are we driven to find a so-called happy place?

What do we do? For starters, God knew the damage we’d carry if we held on to anger too long. He says not to let the sun go down on anger. It’s normal to get angry and experience disappointment that things are not as they should be. We are just not to hold onto anger a long time. A day is as long as we need to be angry before this emotion needs to go. When things don’t go as you expected, can you think through your expectation(s) of what went south and let this unmet expectation go? Can you “die” to the expectation of how things SHOULD have gone?

Now, would you ask God to renew your mind? Ask Him to hit the Refresh button for you and cast your hope on Him instead of how things should be. Are you willing to switch your thinking around? Will you try it this week?

For Deeper Reflection

[google Bible verses on anger and you will find some treasure!]

Ephesians 4:27 “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,and do not give the devil an opportunity.”

Psalm 37:8 “Cease from anger and forsake wrath; Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.
Helen B. McIntosh has a doctorate in counseling psychology and is a national board certified professional counselor and certified in reality therapy. An educator for 19 years, Dr. McIntosh is an author, a highly demanded national speaker and inventor of the Peace Rug®, an international curriculum for conflict resolution.
You can contact me confidentially at DrHelen@braveandresilient.com

Let’s Talk

Noisy, Angry World

Q. I’m seeing so much anger and aggression in our society today – what gives?

A. Let’s Talk! Yes! A noisy, fierce, angry, toxic, non-safe environment seems on the rise.

Anger is an accurate description of our spinning world, isn’t it? Notice the increase of cars angrily and hastily pulling out in front of you, the increase of aggressive crimes, irritated employees, toxic workplaces and schools. We encounter angry people everywhere and angry people not only hurt within their own hearts and lives, they hurt others.

Anger shows up in different shades. “Cranky” or “upset” is at one end of an unseen anger continuum and “rage” is on the other. Both extremes and all the adjectives in between are due to something not going as expected, planned or hoped for, leading to disappointment.

Two thoughts about anger. One is that we are not necessarily responsible for the anger in the world, but we ARE responsible for dealing with our own anger issues. Secondly, dealing with our anger needs to be swift: Scripture suggests before the sun goes down! We dare not let our anger pile up. I adore Mary Glynn Peeples’ word picture that fits here: “It’s not the straw that broke the camel’s back – but the load under the straw.”

Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to talk to someone and express your concerns? Can you dialogue without anger? It will be counterproductive if your spirit is not conciliatory. A suggested beginning for the dialogue would be, “Can we talk?” Somewhere in the dialogue you may want to say, “What do we need to do to make things better?” Or, “I saw by your anger that I wasn’t responding like you wished. What words do you need to hear from me?” Letting go of anger is so hard but oh so delicious!

What are your thoughts about anger?

~~~~~~

I have noticed noise a great deal more in the last two weeks after I tripped and fell facedown on concrete. The treatment for my concussion has been to be quiet, pull away from noise, and to unplug from devices. Do you know how hard that has been?!! I have a newly heightened awareness of our world being at high speed after being cloistered in ICU for a couple of days.My sincerest thanks to those of you who have sent love and prayers my way. I look less like a prizefighter every day and am so truly thankful for a divine rescue. I feel like a miracle.

For Deeper Reflection

Ephesians 4:26  Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. . . .”

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 . . . We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed . . . .”

Psalm 37:24 When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.”

Helen B. McIntosh has a doctorate in counseling psychology and is a national board certified professional counselor and certified in reality therapy. An educator for 19 years, Dr. McIntosh is an author, a highly demanded national speaker and inventor of the Peace Rug®, an international curriculum for conflict resolution.

You can contact me confidentially at DrHelen@braveandresilient.com