Your Stories

“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are—chaff and grain together—certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away….”

~ Dinah Mulock

Emotions

“I can’t stop my tears. Could I be one of the statistics of rampant verbal and emotional abuse in our world? Surely not me. I was raised by decent church-going folk. I’m a bit afraid to dig too much, but I know I must uncover my wounds to find true healing.” — Leah

“By 8:00 at night I’m shot because I’ve been up every morning at 4:00 lately. It’s just all I can do to make it through the day. Twice now the hostility, the anger inside, has pushed me to where I feel I can’t handle my kids. But that’s not where I’m at—I love my kids dearly.”                                    —Dennis

Health

“God, I want to crawl under the covers, turn my face to the wall, and cry. Why are there some situations in life my faith doesn’t seem to move? The doctor says he doesn’t know how to help me anymore. Seriously? What does that mean? Is this the end or just the beginning of another search, another round of phone calls, wait lists, more tests. And for what? To be told “Sorry” all over again?! UGGGGHHH. God, as small as my faith feels, I’m glad it only has to be the size of a mustard seed because today that’s the size of mine. Help me just hang on today. I think I’m losing my grip.”

—Adam

“My family’s constant physical health issues are really getting under my skin. Some days I hear, ‘how much more can I take? If one more negative thing happens I’m going to topple.’ I wonder if it’s my own thoughts or the enemy of our souls. My son is a bit unnerved about starting high school, too, since he still gets frequent headaches and they can take hours to release. How do you press on through that when you can’t even think? I don’t have answers. My husband’s health problems have impacted his work; they’re working with him, but…yeah. It’s true that God is in control, I just wonder when He’s pulling us out of the nosedive, or is that my job?”

—Teri

Finances

“The money stress makes me to be a hermit, and then you just kind of fall apart, and I wake up and I don’t have the emotional energy to deal with this day. I don’t want to… you know? I don’t want to go through this stuff again. I don’t want to hear about the bills we can’t pay and try to be selling my possessions. I don’t want to do that. I want to go into the woods and scream.”

—Carolyn

“The Dave Ramsey course we started two weeks ago is excellent; we’re working on a detailed cash flow plan this week. Our budget work from the past few months has proven better than expected according to Ramsey standards, and there is still tweaking to be done to get a lot better at it. I love how he says a budget is the way to translate your values, dreams and convictions into reality on paper and in your checkbook. That’s where we want to be in reality and not just in talk.”                                                                                                            —Teresa

Relationships

“You would like to have some support from your family. You’re going through a hard enough time without being judged and them having a critical attitude. It just kind of compounds the whole thing and makes you feel like we’re doing something terribly wrong. I’m just overloaded with dealing with problems, and to have no compassion from others sure doesn’t help.”

— Carolyn

“I was in a series of destructive relationships with men from the time I was 14 years old. My heart was broken multiple times and so was my hope. At one point a married man left his wife for me, we lived together and I wanted to marry him. But over time, I realized that he really did not like all of who I was, he didn’t want to marry me. I felt worthless. I sensed God telling me to leave this relationship and I did. Then for a whole year I did not date anyone and just spent time alone…just with friends, but no men. I was asked out on several dates and said “no.” I had many nights of loneliness, I cried, I felt scared being alone in my home. But I held onto the hope that God gave me that I can hope in Him as my strength and protector.

“After a year, I joined an online dating service and met my husband. He is amazing. I finally know what it is like to be in a healthy relationship with a man who adores me…but you know what that took? It took me to understand that my identity is not rooted in a man, but in God alone. When I met my husband, I wasn’t looking for him to fill the inner void in my life and it made our relationship so much easier. He leads us in directions that are best for us, and if we are obedient, what we find on the other side can be a miracle.”

— Alicia

Work

“When I lost my job, my world sort of crashed in.  I didn’t know I’d been living my life through the title on my door, but I see now that I had become my title and my salary.  Now that I don’t have that anymore, I’m spending more time reading figuring out who I really am without all that.  I have a friend who says she found that how God sees her really grounds her, but I don’t know.  That feels so…far away?  Old fashioned?  Can God really think of me at all?  And how does that matter when I’m just trying to get a job and straighten out my brain?  But, I admit it would be nice to just be me without all the trappings.  Maybe then when I get my next job, it will just be a job and I will just be me. I just want to be okay with who I am the way I am.  Just me.  I guess maybe things can happen for a reason.  Anyway, that’s how I see it right now while I’m in the process.”

—Christie

Faith

“God is showing me that He has made us to be intimate with Him. I have been studying and exploring the meaning of intimacy and all its ramifications for a long time now in my support group. My ex-husband has always thrown the reality that I could not be intimate with him because I was incapable of such a thing. In reality we greatly struggled with emotional and physical intimacy because of the cruddy relationship we had. One definition of intimacy is loving and accepting each other as we truly are and not trying to change each other. God is that. HE is the place I am going to to get truth. Truth of who I am…that I have value and worth just as I am. That I don’t need to be something or do something more than I am…that my expectations don’t need to consistently beat me up because I can’t meet them….That HE LOVES ME lavishly. Sitting with that gives me truth, new grooves in my brain to be made. It will only happen if I get truth daily from The Truth Giver.”                                                                                                            —Taylor

“I’ve been pouring out a laundry list of problems to God and wanted them fixed. But I know He works things out for each person to know Him better through the trials they are experiencing. Why can’t I get it that the world is full of troubles? I think I believed that if you did everything right, you wouldn’t have big struggles. Where on earth did I get that? I’m past sounding stupid. My latest trials have literally given me hope to know that God is going to give me complete joy—not complete freedom from problems.”

—Angie

 

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