Let’s Talk

Why is Change So Hard?

Q. You said in your last post that change was hard
– why is that?

A. Let’s Talk! Let me give you a couple of physical examples of how our own bodies resist change, and then we’ll talk about changes on a cognitive level.

Sit in a chair and circle your right foot clockwise. Now add something new: draw the number 6 in the air and watch your foot react! It doesn’t like your change of direction. Your foot will get confused and follow your writing. Next example: if you are right-handed, try to write with your left. Not as easy; you already knew that. One more example I think I have posted before: sit in a chair and cross your arms. Now do it again. Did you notice that the same arm ends up on top each time? We are creatures of habit. To illustrate how uncomfortable change is, switch the bottom arm to the top position. Ugh.

Even if you are super creative, new ideas are usually mulled over before acceptance. The time it takes to go from an old idea to a new one varies with one’s season of life, one’s mental resilience, one’s temperament, and one’s general pattern of life. There is an initial resistance, and then comes the possible adaptation to a new idea if it fits in your cognitive system. If you are a problem solver, there is less resistance to new ideas generally. There is also less resistance if the new idea meets a need..

So, as we brainstorm the traditional “goal setting” that is entertained by many at the start of a new year, I have an idea. You may already know your top one or two, but have you thought about asking God to show you His goals for you???

Those goals are the ones that will be anointed, empowered, and joyful. Hope you’re not resisting too much. Let me know how it goes!

For Deeper Reflection

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”

Helen B. McIntosh has a doctorate in counseling psychology and is a national board certified professional counselor and certified in reality therapy. An educator for 19 years, Dr. McIntosh is an author, a highly demanded national speaker and inventor of the Peace Rug®, an international curriculum for conflict resolution.

You can contact me confidentially at DrHelen@braveandresilient.com


  1. Martha Wolfe says

    Helen, This was an anointed word for me today.. Right now! This day! Too much to share here.

    • I can’t even count the times you have blessed me – so thank You, God, for allowing me to encourage sweet Martha. LOVE U, Helen

  2. Thank you Helen! Your message is always comforting and encouraging.

    • hey, Greg! I appreciate your feedback so much. It is an honor to be able to encourage you. Blessings galore, Helen